Have you ever felt like you're not good enough, even when you’ve done well? Do you worry that others will find out you’re not as capable as they think? If so, you’re not alone. These feelings are part of imposter syndrome, and understanding them can help you combat them.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
At its core, imposter syndrome is the persistent belief that you don't deserve your success, accompanied by a fear that others will eventually discover you're a "fraud." Even in the face of concrete achievements—whether they're awards, promotions, or academic success—people with imposter syndrome struggle to internalize their accomplishments. While it's not classified as a mental illness, this phenomenon affects countless individuals across various aspects of their lives.
The Impact Of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome can cast a long shadow over multiple areas of life. In professional settings, it might drive someone to overwork themselves or shy away from new opportunities. In personal relationships, it can manifest as feeling unworthy of love or constantly seeking validation.
The toll can be particularly heavy when imposter syndrome intertwines with anxiety and depression. Depression can cloud one's ability to recognize personal achievements, while anxiety amplifies concerns about others' perceptions. This combination can create a challenging cycle, especially when one fails to meet their own exceptionally high standards.
The Five Faces of Imposter Syndrome
Dr. Valerie Young, in her book "The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women," identifies five distinct manifestations of imposter syndrome. While individuals may identify with multiple types, understanding these patterns can provide a look into our own thought processes.
The Perfectionist
sets impossibly high standards, viewing anything less than perfection as failure. They often struggle with self-criticism and frequently question whether their work meets their exacting standards.
The Superhuman
strives for excellence across all areas of life, taking on numerous responsibilities and pushing themselves to maintain high performance in every role. Unlike perfectionists who focus on quality in specific areas, superhumans seek to excel in everything they do.
The Natural Genius
expects mastery to come easily and quickly. When faced with challenges that require practice or multiple attempts, they may feel frustrated and question their abilities, believing that needing to work hard at something indicates a lack of natural talent.
The Soloist
views asking for help as a sign of weakness. They feel they have to prove their worth through independent achievement, often dismissing collaborative successes as less valuable than solo accomplishments.
The Expert
becomes consumed with acquiring knowledge, feeling they must achieve complete mastery before taking action. They may pursue multiple degrees or certifications, driven by a fear that their current expertise is insufficient.
Combat Imposter Syndrome by Owning Your Achievements
Realistically Identify the Origin of Success
Dealing with imposter syndrome begins with acknowledging that success results from both internal and external factors. Start by making a list that documents your achievements and listing one internal (your own actions) and one external factor that led to this success. Take credit for the part you played! The aim is to understand that luck, timing, and various factors always influence not only your achievements but those of everyone else as well.
Learn to Accept Compliments
Learning to accept compliments gracefully is really hard. For many, the act of receiving praise can evoke a complex mix of emotions, often rooted in past experiences that have shaped their self-perception and interpersonal interactions. Your ability to acknowledge and internalize positive words may be significantly hindered by feelings of self-doubt that have been ingrained over time.especially for people with trauma histories. So, instead of deflecting praise, practice saying "thank you" and allowing yourself to truly take in recognition.
Celebrate your accomplishments
Keep tangible reminders of your achievements, such as positive feedback or successful project outcomes. These reminders can take many forms, including emails from colleagues praising your contributions, certificates of accomplishment, or even physical tokens like awards and trophies that symbolize your hard work and dedication. Each piece of feedback or recognition serves as a testament to your abilities and the value you bring to your work environment.
You aren't Alone in These Feelings
Consider sharing your experiences with trusted mentors or professional therapist. Often, discussing these feelings not only provides relief but also reveals that others share similar experiences or hold you in higher regard than you might imagine.
If you are interested in learning about therapy or would like to setup an appointment with Person to Person Psychotherapy and Counseling New Jersey & New York Services, call 908-224-0007 or email Amanda Frudakis-Ruckel, LCSW at info@person2persontherapy.com
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