Drawing from my experience in supporting patients and families confronting advanced cancer, I wish to offer some straightforward and beneficial methods to maintain your quality of life and manage the challenging emotions associated with a serious illness. By the conclusion of this blog, you'll discover steps to aid in better coping and finding moments of peace during uncertain times.
Understanding and Coping with Emotions After a Life-Changing Diagnosis
It’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions after getting a life-changing diagnosis. How you react can depend on many things, like your support system, the type of diagnosis, your age, personality, and the outlook for your condition.
There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. You might feel angry, worried about the future, or unsure about how you’ll manage. It’s natural to grieve the loss of your health, feel hopeless or powerless, question your sense of self, or even blame yourself. You might also feel guilt, denial, or a sense of being alone. All of these emotions and more are valid and a normal part of the process.
Here's How to Cope with Life Threatening Illness
Tip#1 Be Gentle with Yourself
Be gentle with yourself as you adjust to the circumstances and try not to judge yourself too harshly or tell yourself what you should be thinking or feeling. Whatever your emotional response, it does not indicate anything about your ability to meet the challenges ahead of you.
Tip#2 Be Open to Emotion
Painful feelings are difficult. It’s tempting to avoid feeling all together. Encourage yourself to feel whatever emotions that come up. The feelings are there for a reason and they will remain there even if you aren’t paying attention to them.
Emotions have a way of growing bigger and louder when ignored. If you acknowledge and feel what comes up, as it comes up, the intensity of the feeling will lessen and pass.
Don't force positivity. Opening yourself up to a wide range of emotions will not disturb or interrupt your recovery or lead to disease progression.
Tip#3 Focus on What You Can Control
A diagnosis of a life-threatening disease brings tons of uncertainty. Things like weighing treatment options, waiting for test results, and waiting some more. This process highlights that a lot of life is out of your control.
Focus your energy on what you can control. Care for yourself. Eat well, exercise, get quality sleep and distract yourself with hobbies you enjoy and/or conversations with people you love.
Tip#4 Draw on and Build Support
Although it's normal to feel alone and that others do not understand, I encourage you to lean on your support system. Staying connected socially even when you feel no one truly understands, can lift your mood.
Let others support you on your terms. Choose good listeners to confide in. The people you confide in should be supportive and not try to tell you how or what to feel. You get to choose who you tell about your disease. You get to choose who you confide in, how much information you share, and who you draw on for support.
Let others help. Others want to help and asking for help could improve your bond with that loved one.
There are many different platforms out there to connect with other people who are experiencing similar circumstance. Connect with individual peer support through a peer-to-peer program, try a support group, or join a Facebook board.
Tip#5 Manage Stress
Stress can aggravate your health. Stress management techniques can be used to combat this.
Implement relaxation at least 5 minutes a day. It doesn’t have to be a formal relaxation technique like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation either. Find something that relaxes you and take 5 minutes out of the day to do that thing.
Tip#6 Pursue Meaning and Joy
You are not your medical diagnosis. Continue to pursue your life through hobbies, people, and things you enjoy. If a medical condition keeps you from pursuing these things, evaluate and find other activities that enrich your spirit and work for you.
Tip#7 Challenge Worry
Your disease diagnosis carries a lot of unknowns which naturally brings worry. Counter this worry with the questions found here.
Worrying will not make your life anymore foreseeable.
Talk to a therapist. Verbalizing what you are worried about can help you view things differently and learn about productive vs. unproductive worry.
If you are interested in learning about therapy or would like to setup an appointment with Person to Person Psychotherapy, serving New Jersey & New York residents, call 908-224-0007.
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