While striving for excellence can lead to high achievement, many people, especially perfectionists, often find themselves trapped in a cycle of self-criticism and fear of failure. Whether it's in your personal life, career, or relationships, the pressure to get everything right can be overwhelming. Perfectionists, in particular, hold themselves to impossibly high standards and may become paralyzed by even minor mistakes. This can lead to a constant craving for validation and an avoidance of situations where they might be criticized.
But perfectionism isn't limited to a select few—most of us struggle with some degree of self-doubt and fear of failure. By the end of this blog, you'll get a sense of what you can start doing today to become more open to feedback, whether you're a perfectionist or just someone looking to manage your expectations and grow.
3 Tips to Become Open to Feedback
This blog provides practical tips to help you become more receptive to feedback, using it as a growth tool instead of a source of stress.
1. Strike While the Iron Is Cold
Receiving criticism can feel personal and overwhelming for anyone, and can be especially intense for perfectionists. The initial sting of feedback can make it difficult to process objectively. Instead of reacting immediately, consider giving yourself a 24-hour waiting period before deciding if the feedback is valid. This pause allows you to step back, cool down, and approach the information with a clearer, more balanced mindset.
During this time, reflect on who is giving the criticism, what their motivations might be, and whether the feedback is constructive or potentially influenced by other factors. By taking a moment to pause, you create space to evaluate whether the feedback is something that can genuinely contribute to your growth or if it's better left behind. This thoughtful approach can help you navigate criticism in a way that benefits your personal development, regardless of your tendency toward perfectionism.
2. Don't Kick Yourself When You Are Down
It's normal to feel negative emotions when you make a mistake, no matter who you are. But it’s important to learn to be kinder to yourself in these moments. Feedback doesn’t define your worth or value. Treating yourself with respect, even when things go wrong, can help shift your mindset. Mistakes are simply part of being human.
Rather than attacking and criticizing yourself when you slip up, try using these moments as opportunities to practice self-compassion. This approach not only helps perfectionists break free from the cycle of self-criticism but can also benefit anyone who struggles with the emotional weight of making mistakes. Over time, this kindness builds resilience, allowing you to take criticism with a more balanced and constructive perspective.
3. Change Your Relationship to Making Mistakes
Many people struggle to tolerate their own mistakes, often leading to feelings of shame or inadequacy. A helpful strategy to overcome this is to expect to make at least one mistake every day. Whether it’s something small, like forgetting your lunch at home, or something more significant, this mindset normalizes the reality that mistakes are a regular part of life.
For perfectionists, this approach can be especially beneficial, as it helps reduce the pressure of constantly striving for flawlessness. When a mistake happens, simply acknowledge it as your "mistake of the day" and move on. This shift in mindset encourages focusing on recovery rather than dwelling on the error, making it easier to handle criticism. By accepting that mistakes are inevitable, you can approach feedback and challenges with a more balanced, constructive perspective.
Conclusion
By allowing yourself time to process feedback, practicing self-compassion, and normalizing the inevitability of mistakes, you can shift your mindset from one of fear and avoidance to one of learning. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate mistakes or criticism but to develop a healthier, more constructive relationship to both.
It's not the mistake that matters but what you do with it.
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